My Journey

  Just photos from the Thanksgiving dinner.

  Happy Thanksgiving! Soooo this year I was tasked with cooking the turkey. I am very proud to say it went off without a hitch. I brined, dry seasoned, compound butter slathered it, stuffed it with aromatics, dusted some tyme and rosemary on top, poured 1&1/4 cup of chicken stock, and 1/2 cup of water at the bottom of my roaster pan, put the turkey on a rack in the pan over the stock, then popped his ass in the oven at 325°F for 3hours. the first 2.5hrs were  covered. Then I uncovered it and basted it every 10mins for 30mins. I then turned up the heat to 375°F for the last 15mins. It looks succulent and juicy on the inside, and it has a nice crisp brown top. To top it off the drippings that mixed with the stock at the bottom of the pan we using innthe gravy, and it tastes delicious. I am pleased. Now its resting and I cannot wait to carve it. We have these sides:  Mac n' Cheese Salad Waldorf fruit salad Okra w/tomato&corn Buttery herb mashed potatoes  Cornbre...

So my mother and I are preparing the turkey for this year's Thanksgiving. it is a really big deal considering that this is the first Thanksgiving and first holiday season in the new house (which I named oregon). my sister didn't want to do the cooking or eat which is disappointing but it is OK. i have my mom, I have my kids and I have the Macy's parade.  now on to the food. On the menu is the turkey (which we wet brined overnigh on Tuesday, then dry brined and slathered in seasoned butter overnight on Wednesday), brussel sprouts, cornbread stuffing, mac n' cheese,   rolls, cranberry sauce, salad, fruit and sparkling water, with cherry pie, pecan pie, and chocolate chip cookies as dessert. I even found the cutest butter turkey mold for the table. i  can't wait to bake the turkey. I am so excited. I don't mess with the pilgrims at all, I celebrate because I am grateful for my health, my children's health and well-being,  my mom's healing (from her stroke f...

 I finally finished the written portion and the peer review for my Business class. Out of the group, I made a friend. I am very proud of myself because, in my older age, I find it really difficult to make friends, especially mom friends. I find myself opening up more and more each day. I am also handling stress better. 

I have been trying to figure out why I abandoned my hobbies after having kids. The only thing that survived was my love for anime. I love watching polo matches, scrapbooking, cooking, dancing, going to the beach, playing arcade games, building with Legos, drawing, painting, decorating for the holidays, meditating, journaling, taking walks, and enjoying ballet, orchestra, or opera performances. For some reason, I stopped. I became a shut-in when it came to my studies. I don't have many friends. I am learning to branch out and make some friends at school. I am also branching out by attending concerts and other events. I am also journaling more. I am also becoming better at public speaking. I am becoming the person I am meant to be.

  My oldest baby got the Honor Roll award at her school. I am so proud of her. She has been wanting this for the past year. I hope she remains on it the rest of the year.

  It was cleaning and school prep day for me at the Whitehead home. I cleaned my room and bathroom, organized the girls' toys and clothes, hung up my oldest daughter's uniforms, and made the beds. I also broke out the heated blankets because it is getting frigid outside. The rain 🌧 has died down a bit and the rain boots for Leuch (my oldest daughter. I have nicknames for my kids who doesn't) haven't come in  yet even though Amazon told us yesterday that it would be delivered today because it is running late. So this means Leuch will have to wear her regular shoes tomorrow instead of the new cute rainboots we got her.  I in my binge-watching glory have finished both seasons of Squidgames: The Challenge on Netflix. Leuch really likes Squidgames and plays it on Roblox so I thought it would be a good bonding experience for us to watch it together.  Well she only watched half of the episodes, as me and her sister little sister  BinMin watched both of the seasons ove...

  This storm is really bringing the rain. That lil song from Winnie the Pooh comes to mind. You know the one: "When the rain rain came down down down!". The song that had Piglet trapped, sending 'help!' notes in bottles and stuff. That one. Yeah, this storm right here reminds me of that. We all know the good people of LA can't drive well in a dry climate, so an overly moist, slick street isn't good for anyone. I tried my best to get what I needed before it really poured down. But here is a video and a few pictures. They say it is supposed to strom all this week. I know my plants are happy. I also let my kids go splash in the puddles, as my youngest daughter puts it, "like Peppa Pig". I bundled them up in coats, rain coats with hoods, and rain boots. They loved it. I also put heated blankets on the beds so that as soon as they came inside, they could get warm. I'm trynna make sure they can have good childhood core memories.  I love watching the ra...

  Sooo. I have been watching the news, reading the news articles, and tracking this rain on the weather app that everyone is describing as an " Atmospheric River "  . Now, I've seen what a rainstorm looks like at this lil house, and tbh the old owners are real assholes  crummy for how they called themselves fixing up the place. They really cut corners for which I've had to fix their mistakes. No one ever tells you about how stressful homeownership is. They only tell you we should own homes. Grab a piece of the American Dream. White picket fence and all that jazz. Well considering that it's about to rain cats and dogs ( 🌧 🐈 & 🐕) for 4 days straight, I've prepared my home on the outside as much as I can. I've scotch-guarded, put up the kids outside toys in the garage and told my turtle (who's tank is located outside in the backyard) that rain is coming. I've got the kids rain coats and rain boots and thank god its an early week, even though I ...

  I've decided to do some self-improvement. Take stock of my life. I know I can come off as defensive, a bit abrasive, and I tend to fuss yell a lot. I am also someone who hasn't done my favorite hobbies or had self-care in a very long time. I used to draw, paint, go to arcades, go to the movies, go to the spa, get my hair and nails done regularly, and worked out. What the fuck has happened to me? I've been extremely stressed about this house, the kids, school, and the past year in general. I just haven't had the time to stop and take a deep breath about anything. I haven't even had time to enjoy or appreciate this house that I have a mortgage on. The only thing I have done is bless the ancestors for this home.  I found myself with two kids, no husband, and no dual income stream. I have relied on my mom entirely too much, and I miss my father and my grandfather so much it hurts. I know I have to start learning to depend more on myself as if I were going through li...

  Welp, ya girl fainted. I think it's due to stress, to be honest, coupled with my having naturally low blood pressure, and it being day 2 of my cycle, I think I put too much on myself. Thank God my mom was home.

 11.10.25 Today is turning out to be a better day. Well, at least better than the past few days. I ordered some more groceries, tucked some snacks away in my room, said a few prayers, and participated in some meditation sessions. I then decided to focus all my attention on my school work and my children. I visited my new school therapist. She's really nice. I have come to realize that certain aspects of my personality have hardened over time due to my life experiences. I aim to change that. Last Thursday took me out of the person that I am trying to become. I have made so much positive progress over the past three years that I do not want to throw it away because of a moment in time when I should have let it roll off my back. I aim to be softer, take accountability for my actions, and accept that I cannot change how others think, react, move, and so forth. I will continue to move forward in peace, with or without people in my life who are not moving along the same life path as me. ...

 Today, I come here to release my emotions about this and gain some clarity, so that I can move forward. I had a confrontation with a loved one that got physical. The part I played in the altercation, I acknowledge and regret. I have written to the person in question and apologized for my part in the confrontation, and I have also apologized to the others who witnessed it. The thing I can't seem to wrap my head around or get past is the portion where the other party believes they should get a face-to-face apology first when they were the initial instigator and aggressor. I reacted to what was initially done to me, and now everyone is reacting to my reaction because I took it too far. I feel like had the person not taken it to that level, I would not have taken it to the next level, which I agree was taken too far. In this altercation, they touched me in an aggressive manner first, which caused me to react unfavorably. I was sitting down while they were screaming and cursing out eve...