Happy Valentine’s Day

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 Stephan is a coward. We had been "Talking" for 60 days. All week we were talking about going out for Valentine’s Day. He kept calling me love and ensuring that we had plans and that he was going to see me this week, when really he had no intention of doing so. He decided to break things off with me on Valentine’s Day.  Such bullshit. Such selfishness.  Saying that he just doesn't have enough time to spend, and his life is overwhelming right now. Saying that he feels bad for telling me over text. I don't want to hear that shit. I think he got insecure because I own my own house and car.  I think he felt insecure because he didn't have his shit together all the way, but here's the thing. He spoke to me 1st. Asking me if im healed from my last relationship. What does it matter now if im healed or not. He's no longer a factor. I told him his timing was impeccable and I wished him luck in his future endeavors.  A man only has to tell me once he doesn't want me. Im not spinning the block when he gets it together.  Im not going to apologize for having my own and for going on vacations n shit. Im definitely not going to apologize for liking and wanting to talk to or be around the person I like.  These new age men try and make you feel guilty for having feelings.

I gave myself an hour to feel feelings about the situation,  popped an Aleve because to be honest the situation got on my nerves so much ir gave me a headache and then I turned on Bridgerton on Netflix, got my Bridgerton Betty Crocker Strawberry Scone mix down out the cabinet and created myself a tea party.  I chose myself this Valentine’s Day. When I experience strong emotions, I bake. I didn't curse him out for wasting my time. I didn't argue. I just bowed out gracefully and took the L. This doesn't mean I won't trust again, because I will. I just know he wasn't right for me.  I will know when I meet the right one, because he won't be insecure or intimidated around me, and he will mean when he says, he will be kind and patient, and me showing him emotion will never be too intense or overwhelming to him. 

I just have to go out more to meet more men organically. Maybe at school, or on that cruise im going to in July.  I gotta find a man organically, who actually wants a relationship.  









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